HomeBlogs & ViewsBirmingham Mail ColumnistsMaureen Messent

St Pat's parade punch-up

I LOVE the revelation by Maurice Long, of the St Patrick's Day Festival Committee, that he was head-butted and punched by Ted Ryan, the boss of Birmingham's Irish Community Forum. Read

They deserve better than this hysteria

THE headlines two inches tall screamed: "Heroes". "They died for us" shouted the front pages of other red-top tabloids. Read

How could they let him rant?

HIS people are dying of starvation and its spin-offs, but Zimbabwean despot and thief, Robert Mugabe, was still allowed to speak at the UN's Food and Agriculture Organisation HQ in Rome. Read

Just a storm in a religious teacup

THAT confrontation between a police community support officer and a couple of Christian preachers was a collision of brute force and ignorance. Read

We've given it up with muesli - and a weeny gastric band

IT'S THE little details we remember: like Oliver Cromwell's facial wart, Henry Eighth dying of a surfeit of lampreys, and the Duke of Edinburgh talking of "slitty eyes" while in China. Read

Caught in the firing line

FOR once the bluster and lies didn't work. Michael Sophocles, the short and fat one from The Apprentice on BBC One, has got the chop. Read

Khyra blame

WE'VE watched, stunned, as the story of the short life and awful death of little Khyra Ishaq has unfolded. Read

Oh Gord, what next

GORDON Brown's attempt to gain populist favour scraped the barrel this week. Read

Softly-softly time is past in war on knife crime

WERE there to be a contest for the crassest notion of the year the winner by a mile would be the so-called 'Children's Tsar' Sir Al Aynsley-Green. Read

What not to wear

CAN'T someone take the full-blown Princess Beatrice (big teeth, pop eyes) in hand? Read

Abortion relief?

NEWS that many young British women have up to six abortions has been greeted with horror. Surely relief would be a better reaction. Read

Gluttons should pay for their weakness

ROY Glencross, aged 60, weighs 24 stone after years of gluttony, during which he consumed what he describes as "truck-loads" of fried food, biscuits and cakes. Read

Number's up for us quiet drinkers

THE attention is almost flattering. Starting this week, I'll be bombarded by TV, radio and newspaper adverts warning me of alcohol's dangers. Read

Stabbed man was no victim

THERE is hope amid British despair at the numbers of young men who are stabbing each other to death. Notably in London. Read

Naive Cherie tells it like it is

CHERIE BLAIR'S autobiography - its publication brought forward lest its tale-bearing be eclipsed by a possible prime ministerial resignation before the autumn - puts me in mind of Lily Savage after a few vods down her local working man's club. Read

No honour amongst his 'friends'

TELL-TALE sign of depression, all psychiatrists agree, is when the sufferer wakes up in the small hours to be haunted by thoughts of disaster, doom and destruction. Read

Relatives are in a class of their own

HIS wealthy and middle-class family and friends have been quick to point blame's finger at the Met's armed policemen who shot dead drunk and deranged barrister Mark Saunders in London's up-market Chelsea. Read

Tears too easily spilt

I'M PUZZLED at pictures in this newspaper that show Blues' fans in tears at their team's relegation last weekend. Read

You've got to admire sexy Sven

I WILL miss Sven Goran Eriksson if, as reported, he's due the boot from Manchester City. Read

Arrogant youth should pay for crippling Cerys

THE High Court has awarded an interim £800,000 to the family of little Cerys Edwards, who suffered catastrophic injuries in a car crash. Read