ASTON Villa's Martin O'Neill effectively planted a knotted handkerchief on his head, wore some dodgy spectacles and shouted: "Knickers, knackers, knockers" to his critics – a la Les Dawson's Cosmo Smallpiece.
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AS Peter Kay recites in his stand-up routine. Aston Villa were more like a Digestive biscuit than a Rich Tea, able to soak up only so much coffee after a dunk before crumbling to pieces.
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HARRY Redknapp bears something of a resemblance to Robin Askwith but the "filth" that he believed he was confronted by around the Villa dugout would have left Sidney Noggett red-faced.
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GABRIEL Agbonlahor was the hero for Aston Villa after his injury time winner clinched the three points and bragging rights in the Second City derby with Birmingham City.
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ASTON Villa striker Gabriel Agbonlahor settled the derby against Birmingham with a late winner for Martin O'Neill's side in a pulsating clash at St Andrews.
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IT was Bolton who were partying at the final whistle as the stadium rocked to Status Quo after Sammy Lee's side had crept over the line towards UEFA Cup qualification.
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VILLA marked the 25th anniversary of a 1-0 defeat at Stoke City's Victoria Ground with a performance of style and panache that rolled back the clock to days when they were at the very summit of the European game.
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IT SEEMS an eternity since Brian Cant, Floella Benjamin, Johnny Ball and Derek Griffiths were teaching everyone to Play Away with a smile. It has been an age since Villa were doing so.
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FOR one horrid, ghastly moment in time Thomas Sorensen performed a limpness of wrist, in attempting to catch Fabio Rochemback's free-kick, not seen since Are You Being Served's John Inman was entertaining audiences on prime time TV.
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THE absence of an electronic microchip in the ball may well have handed Wigan a precious point on a day when Villa found back-to-back Premiership wins as elusive as the Scarlet Pimpernel in revolutionary France.
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