Bill Howell: Premier League should be far less predictable!
IT USED to be the case that if you won the First Division you earned it. Now, if you top the Premier League come May it means you have the biggest billionaire on board.
That’s why last weekend’s most random sequence of top-flight results since the damn thing forced itself into existence in February 1992 was satisfying to say the least.
Villa – and their billionaire – no longer have to trot out that Peter Withe statistic at United, Wolves won at Tottenham for the first time since Watergate, while penniless Everton and skint Bolton held moneybags Chelsea and cash-crippled (they have too much) Man City.
For one weekend, there was a bit of excitement. No disrespect to Villa – who are once again up there in fourth – and Blues – the form team having taken 14 points from six games – and Wolves, having won back-to-back matches for the first time in the top division since 1983.
But there’s still a depressing familiarity about it all. Still, let’s all laugh at Liverpool. A big three rather than a big four is progress.
Only Blackburn – with one title (and they bought that) have won the blummin’ thing other than United (11), Chelsea (two) and Arsenal (three). Time to share the cash out.
Villa have been here before and crumbled. They even got to a League Cup semi-final under David O’Leary only for Bolton to put five past them.
Five more wins and Blues should be safe. With Portsmouth heading out of existence under an avalanche of debt and wages, and West Ham and Hull perhaps joining them, Wolves may not even need to play until May.
If only greed had not got the better of 22 chairmen 17 years ago when they all too readily accepted Sky’s wonga.
Stadia were indeed tired and away supporters did get wet (it was rain, if you were lucky).
Yes, players were slower and some were very average indeed (Peter Barnes springs to mind.)
But they were English and in the main gave you great entertainment whatever the pitch or the weather without trying to get their opponents sent off. Even a raised arm or a slightly forward-tilted forehead was allowed.
The bigger teams often came unstuck against the smaller ones. Promoted teams could prosper at the higher level (particularly if you had Brian Clough). Sheffield Wednesday, Crystal Palace, Nottingham Forest and even Villa finished in the top three in the last few years of Divison One.
Has England’s national team got any better since 1992? Better make that 1990 pre-Graham Taylor.
Mad red-faced Scottish managers didn’t prattle on about time-keeping and have their every word slapped across the back pages.
I remember Derby fans on the pitchside actually tackling Fulham’s wingers in 1983 in a game the Cottagers needed to win to get promotion. The game ended early. It was never replayed. Malcolm MacDonald, in one of his more lucid moments, faced the cameras. The unexpected, you see. That’s entertainment.
■ SO, BBC Sport have awarded a Personality to Ryan Giggs? Not before time.
“Despite birdies galore from Tiger he failed to pick up a single major,” quips a cheeky Gary Lineker.
The best sportsman on the planet, with a billion dollars in the bank and a dozen fabulous beauties hanging on his every whim. So George Best, where did it all go wrong?
Fat actor James Corden says: “Fabio Capello is the greatest England manager we have ever had.”
So much exaggeration... this bloke could be working for Sky.
“You won the Champs Elysee by 30 metres, which is miles in cycling,” whispered Sue Barker to Mark Cavendish, who must have been a kilometre away.
Jimmy White kisses 79-year-old swimming coach Doreen Adcock. He must have thought he was back in the jungle with all the lizards.
“I know the lads are chuffed to bits,” says captain Andrew Strauss as the camera pans to a dozen very glum-faced England team-mates.
What on earth was Neil Warnock doing there? Just because he lives nearby?
