IN VARIOUS countries around the world fair and right-minded people are attempting to bring down oppressive regimes and to overthrow cruel and greedy dictators and despots.

Is it merely coincidence, therefore, that within the secretive conclaves of FIFA similar honest souls attempt to oust Self Blather, sorry, Sepp Blatter, as their president?

Blather is a complex character combining the traits of Emperor Ming and Arthur Daley, whilst stroking a white moggy nestling in the crook of his elbow in the manner of Blofeld, who if you remember desired only world domination.

He is universally seen as an evasive, manipulative control freak with fingers in so many pies he’s actually grown extra hands. There are, however, giveaway signs when he is being perhaps restrictive with his veracity... his lips move.

FIFA has become almost a secret Masonic-type cult organisation with Blather overseeing every detail of its operation thus knowing where bodies are buried and incriminating evidence is stashed.

He presides over a bank account currently with a surplus of £1.3 billion of which he would appear to be the sole signatory and rules an organisation which has rejected external exploration and examination and to which world football must bow its knee.

There are 208 separate national associations each with a vote and all benefitting from FIFA handouts.

All of this indicates Blather holding the whip hand indeed. He is now threatened for the first time and is calling in his markers from around the globe in an attempt to ensure his survival.