Wolves 1, Newcastle United 1: Bill Howell's big match verdict

Aug 30 2010 by Bill Howell, Birmingham Mail

POOR Stuart Attwell. He attempted to bring order by lustily brandishing yellow cards as if they were invitations to his 28th birthday bash in a few weeks.

Some of the dozen he shelled out were greeted as if they were photographs of his pets.

“There you go.... there’s Thomas my cat.... nah, sorry that’s the wife!”

“This is the dog I bought from the iron monger. Got him home and he immediately made a bolt for the door.”

There were certainly a lot of smug smiles as the yellows continued to mount.

What he probably needed was a taser gun.

It was WWE meets rugby, a smattering of American Gridiron mixed with Rugby League as players charged heartily into each other.

The Premier League meets Sunday League... oh and with a little football thrown in for good measure.

Plenty of Premier League teams have been fined £25,000 over the last decade for amassing six bookings in a single contest. Quite what Attwell’s report will state about Wolves’ seven is open to question.

Attwell’s notes could be interesting. “Booked Kevin Doyle for blatant disregard of James Perch’s future well-being. Doyle made a mockery of Perch’s aerial challenge – AND I WILL NOT HAVE IT ON MY TURF.”

It was a good job that Nenad Milijas, certainly one master craftsman on the Molineux staff, was nowhere to be seen with reports he is set for a deadline move to Turkey.

The game would have by-passed the Serb. It by-passed Dave Jones. It by-passed Matt Jarvis, save for one run that could so easily have earned a penalty (although to be fair to Attwell, his final touch pushed the ball far ahead of him). But it was meat and drink to Karl Henry.

Henry probably warmed up for this one by eating raw meat and watching Rocky I to IV from start to end. Perhaps he’d taken Apollo Creed’s death to heart in the final instalment for he charged into Joey Barton at the start of both halves and left him feeling like a rather battered and beaten Ivan Drago by the close.

Poor Attwell. Henry’s challenges were thunderous, but they also got the ball, in the main. And also the man, Barton... in the main.

So much went by the by, that the eventual flurry of cards were too little, too late. That horse had bolted.

Attwell’s short career has been clouded by controversy. There was that incident at Albion over the Bobby Robson tribute. There was the ghost goal for Reading. Steve Bruce had muttered something about him not being “ready to step up to the plate.”

But an early red card here would have ruined what became at times a glorious spectacle, as feisty affair as you’d ever see.