Chelsea 4 Wolves 0: Big match analysis of Premier League clash
Nov 23 2009 by Bill Howell, Birmingham Mail
THE last week has seen Britain lashed by storms with the worst-affected areas being up North.
But there’s been a fair bit of devastion down South too – just ask Wolves, who were blown away at Stamford Bridge .
Resplendent in their white away strip, Mick McCarthy’s men looked every inch like a Johnny Giles-Billy Bremner Leeds, or a Puskas-Di Stefano Real Madrid.
But they played like schoolboys in two-for-a-pound polo-neck T-shirts that have been the uniform of PE classes for generations.
Thankfully there were no elasticated black plimsolls to complete the ensemble. There might just as well have been.
“We had five chances and they had eight,’’ is how Molineux manager McCarthy summed up the first half.
Rose-tinted specs? Bigger than anything Elton John could have worn in his pomp.
David Blaine, David Copperfield, Derren Brown, Harry Houdini, Paul Daniels and Siegfried & Roy combined could not have masterminded the illusion of Wolves as an attacking force.
Fragile at the back but at the other end 12 goals in 13 games is a cry for help.
The question now for Wolves is how much damage has been done to their infrastructure by two heavy losses?
McCarthy says none at all. But Chelsea’s storm hit them like a force ten gale.
The defensive rock of Jody Craddock and Christophe Berra crumbled, their stone wall Wayne Hennessey disintegrated.
The electricity supply of Karl Henry and Segundo Castillo suffered a black-out.
With the team swamped the men responsible for rescuing their side – Sylvan Ebanks-Blake, Matt Jarvis and Andrew Surman – were simply helpless.
You have to take your hat off to the 3,000 Wolves spectators who lapped up every mishap at the Bridge.
“Shoes off if you love the Wolves,” they hollered as Petr Cech handed a white pump back to a steward after it landed in his six-yard box.
The steward quickly found the owner who began to reason that it had flown off his foot by mistake.
A few hundred sympathisers muddied the steward’s quest for justice by holding their own footwear aloft.
Undeniably the storm could have been worse. No Lampard, Ballack, Carvalho, Deco, Drogba. That’s like taking out Ebanks-Blake, Michael Kightly, Chris Iwelumo, Stephen Ward and Kevin Doyle from Wolves. No, better make that Billy Wright CBE, Steve Bull MBE, John Richards, Kenny Hibbitt and ... George Berry perhaps?
First the sunshine – David Edwards’ lunge was a foot shy of a shock early opener.
Then the drizzle – a massive punt by Alex bounces once.
Then a torrential downpour – a mis-kick by Craddock. Richard Stearman back-tracks as Florent Malouda picks up the ball just past the halfway line and is allowed to dribble up the pitch before shooting.
More rain – Hennessey tips Salomon Kalou’s shot around the post.
Then thunder – Michael Essien makes it two from the corner, a free header. Berra grapples with John Terry, Craddock looks after Alex, Greg Halford has Kalou in his sights, but Henry reacts slowest to Essien’s near-post run.
Then lightning – Essien makes it 3-0. Malouda’s run takes Castillo away and opens a gaping hole.
Henry has five yards to make up in an instant and can’t. Essien’s shot, perhaps taking the slightest of deflections off Berra, beats Hennessey who moves as if his feet are immersed in giant waders.
A silver lining? Jarvis delivers the cross of the match between Terry and Ashley Cole but Ebanks-Blake finds Cech is a giant flood barrier.
More rain. Edwards’ cross is deflected into Cech’s arms. His throw finds Malouda and Ashley Cole plays in Nicolas Anelka.
Halford gives him a three-yard start, then backs off and is easily turned. Kalou tees up Joe Cole for a pot-shot and although Stearman tries to execute a brave block, Hennessey is at fault as the ball squirms under his arm.
Wolves simply had no answer to the battering and McCarthy now has to rally his troops ahead of the home games against Blues and Bolton if they are to drag themselves clear of the relegation waters.
