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Married to Aston Villa

“It shows great devotion to stay together for 70 years – and his wife did well to hang in there, too . . . !”Read

MP's expenses review

“If Guy Fawkes wanted to blow up Parliament these days, he’d be welcomed with open arms . . . !”Read

UB40 play at the Rainbow pub in Digbeth

“Never mind ‘But you like UB40’ – you’re supposed to be complaining about the noise!”Read

Wayne Rooney has baby boy

“...and which one is the Rooney baby..?”Read

Trick or treaters

“Bert told the trick-or-treaters to clear off... you don’t know where we can find four wheels for a Ford Focus do you?”Read

MP's expenses to be cut

“It isn’t just you, dear. I’ll have to take my wife off my expenses list, too . . . !”Read

Midlands Indian summer

“Make the most of it – we’re going Christmas shopping tomorrow...!”Read

Broad Street star for Julie Walters

“Good grief! I didn’t think she’d come in her Calendar Girls costume..!”Read

Swine Flu Jab

“Right, all those waiting for the swine flu jab shout ‘oink!’...”Read

Council to slash 800 jobs

“Do we have a plan B if we don’t win the Euromillions lottery..?”Read

New police truck

“Sorry, did we make you jump . . . ?”Read

Barnardo's 5 sets of twins

“It’s been a big boost to our business – everyone thinks they’re seeing double . . . !”Read

Truancy

“I told you this truancy situation is getting out of hand . . . !”Read

Birmingham Big Screen

“Typical! They take the giant screen but forget the remote!”Read

Blues takeover

“They’re arguing over whether the new regime will be better than the old – all they agree on so far is that Karren Brady is better looking then Carson Yeung!”Read

Villa Monopoly

“I can’t get my head around their figures – I mean £60 million for a house in Alum Rock . . . !”Read

Brown sells off assets

“No, Prime Minister, we do not have ‘a few old, spare crown jewels’ we no longer require..!”Read

Colin Whittock cartoon: The Birmingham Half Marathon

Colin Whittock's take on the Birmingham Half MarathonRead

Charity Santa Run

“If the postmen strike you may have to deliver Christmas cards on the run . . . !”Read

Financial Advisor

“The way things are going, with a lot of luck you should be able to take early retirement by the age of 75...!”Read