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Election 2010

“After watching the debates and listening to the electioneering, I’m a committed ‘haven’t got a clue!’..”Read

The Final Debate at Birmingham University

‘No, I’m not a minority party, I’m just fed up with them...!’Read

Mum and daughter lose 11 stone

“It proves that with a bit of effort you’ll be able to squeeze in there and slip out there...!”Read

Fun run

“No, sorry, you can’t be late entrants... this is a ‘Fun’ Run...!”Read

Party manifestos launched

“Remind me, do we file the party manifestos under fiction or non-fiction . . . ?”Read

Vote For Me

“Dad says he’ll vote for you if you can guarantee Villa will win a Cup Final!”Read

Elections - 6th May

“Surely there must be one party you’re not scared to vote for in case they get in...?Read

MP3 implants

“The good news is they’re working fine, the bad news is the political parties can send their election messages direct to your implants..!”Read

Tolkien bog awarded grant

“The grant means that in future, others may be inspired by the bog. Are you inspired, Charles?... Charles!!!”Read

Budget 2010

“I’d drink to that... if I could afford it”Read

Budget Day

“Well, are we going to be worse off, much worse off or disastrously worse off...?”Read

Cheltenham

“I’m hoping to win enough so we can afford the petrol to drive home . . . !”Read

Birmingham's city of culture bid

‘OK, no bullfight in the Bullring. But how about Jasper Carrott in ‘The Saga of Blues and Villa’ opera and a poetry reading by Chinny from the top of the Post Office Tower?’Read

Whittock

“This is Faversham, he heads the ‘Ministry For Finding Out If We Have Too Many Ministers’..!”Read

Beckham out of the World Cup

“I just had this terrible nightmare that it wasn’t Beckham who was out – it was Wayne Rooney!”Read

Spring Conference

‘We’re in the perfect place to promote the party – if we could get the Irish, the dog owners and the mum’s votes, we’d walk the next election.”Read

High-speed rail link

“These high-speed trains are all very well but they’ve taken the fun out of train spotting . . . !”Read

Budget in 2 weeks

“It’s simple, we just need a new way of presenting the current financial disaster as good news . . . !”Read

Jumping plant lice to curb Japanese knotweed

‘Are you sure these jumping lice we’re introducing only attack knotweed...?’Read

BRMB Walkathon returns

“Yes you WILL enter – because you’ll be sitting on your backside for the rest of June watching the World Cup!”Read