Updated 4:47am 13 February 2012:
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“After watching the debates and listening to the electioneering, I’m a committed ‘haven’t got a clue!’..”Read
‘No, I’m not a minority party, I’m just fed up with them...!’Read
“It proves that with a bit of effort you’ll be able to squeeze in there and slip out there...!”Read
“No, sorry, you can’t be late entrants... this is a ‘Fun’ Run...!”Read
“Remind me, do we file the party manifestos under fiction or non-fiction . . . ?”Read
“Dad says he’ll vote for you if you can guarantee Villa will win a Cup Final!”Read
“Surely there must be one party you’re not scared to vote for in case they get in...?Read
“The good news is they’re working fine, the bad news is the political parties can send their election messages direct to your implants..!”Read
“The grant means that in future, others may be inspired by the bog. Are you inspired, Charles?... Charles!!!”Read
“I’d drink to that... if I could afford it”Read
“Well, are we going to be worse off, much worse off or disastrously worse off...?”Read
“I’m hoping to win enough so we can afford the petrol to drive home . . . !”Read
‘OK, no bullfight in the Bullring. But how about Jasper Carrott in ‘The Saga of Blues and Villa’ opera and a poetry reading by Chinny from the top of the Post Office Tower?’Read
“This is Faversham, he heads the ‘Ministry For Finding Out If We Have Too Many Ministers’..!”Read
“I just had this terrible nightmare that it wasn’t Beckham who was out – it was Wayne Rooney!”Read
‘We’re in the perfect place to promote the party – if we could get the Irish, the dog owners and the mum’s votes, we’d walk the next election.”Read
“These high-speed trains are all very well but they’ve taken the fun out of train spotting . . . !”Read
“It’s simple, we just need a new way of presenting the current financial disaster as good news . . . !”Read
‘Are you sure these jumping lice we’re introducing only attack knotweed...?’Read
“Yes you WILL enter – because you’ll be sitting on your backside for the rest of June watching the World Cup!”Read
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