Updated 5:29am 9 November 2009:
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“It shows great devotion to stay together for 70 years – and his wife did well to hang in there, too . . . !”Read
“If Guy Fawkes wanted to blow up Parliament these days, he’d be welcomed with open arms . . . !”Read
“Never mind ‘But you like UB40’ – you’re supposed to be complaining about the noise!”Read
“...and which one is the Rooney baby..?”Read
“Bert told the trick-or-treaters to clear off... you don’t know where we can find four wheels for a Ford Focus do you?”Read
“It isn’t just you, dear. I’ll have to take my wife off my expenses list, too . . . !”Read
“Make the most of it – we’re going Christmas shopping tomorrow...!”Read
“Good grief! I didn’t think she’d come in her Calendar Girls costume..!”Read
“Right, all those waiting for the swine flu jab shout ‘oink!’...”Read
“Do we have a plan B if we don’t win the Euromillions lottery..?”Read
“Sorry, did we make you jump . . . ?”Read
“It’s been a big boost to our business – everyone thinks they’re seeing double . . . !”Read
“I told you this truancy situation is getting out of hand . . . !”Read
“Typical! They take the giant screen but forget the remote!”Read
“They’re arguing over whether the new regime will be better than the old – all they agree on so far is that Karren Brady is better looking then Carson Yeung!”Read
“I can’t get my head around their figures – I mean £60 million for a house in Alum Rock . . . !”Read
“No, Prime Minister, we do not have ‘a few old, spare crown jewels’ we no longer require..!”Read
Colin Whittock's take on the Birmingham Half MarathonRead
“If the postmen strike you may have to deliver Christmas cards on the run . . . !”Read
“The way things are going, with a lot of luck you should be able to take early retirement by the age of 75...!”Read
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