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90-year-old sky-diving gran

“Oh, it’s gran – she said she’d drop in this afternoon...”Read

Tories talk of cutting benefits

“They need sicknotes to be off with stress after all the nasty Tory talk of cutting their benefits . . . !”Read

Conservation Party Conference

“Actually I am a Labour supporter, I just wanted to be in confident, cheerful company...!”Read

Birmingham Speedway

“The council has finally agreed an acceptable level of noise but . . . !”Read

Tv re-tuning

“For goodness sake, let him do it! At the moment we’re getting BBC One on the microwave . . . !”Read

Gordon Brown speech

“It’s worked – he’s put them all to sleep...!”Read

Werewolf in Cannock Chase?

“Could he call you back... he’s just changing to go out...”Read

Labour Party Conference

“No, they aren’t for Gordon. With the state our party’s in, they’re for everyone...!”Read

Digging for Gold

“Good grief, as if we haven’t enough potholes already – now they’re all digging for gold!”Read

Thomas the Tank Engine

“He may have been created in Brum but I’m not sure Thomas’s local accent quite works...!”Read

Birmingham Mail Charity Trust calender

“There’s no living with her since she became one of the November models in the Mail’s new charity calendar...!”Read

Strictly Come Dancing Cartoon: Alesha Dixon row continues

New Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon today shrugged off criticism of her debut and said she would not quit the show.Read

Investing

"Please help! Running out of time for my investments to recover."Read

Scrappage scheme

“Excuse me, you’ve left your mother-in-law on the rear seat..!"Read

Birmingham city v Aston Villa

Is it safe to come out now . . . ?Read

Petrol

“I’d love to be able to fill her up but you know how difficult it is to get a mortgage these days . . . !”Read

Travel Insurance

“Is this covered by our travel insurance . . . ?”Read

Family Tree

"Oh no, he hasn't been researching his family tree again...!"Read

Banker seeing a psychiatrist

"Don't be silly, not everyone hates you because you're a banker...just most of us!"Read

Park

"Beautiful, I agree, but I miss the power. I'd normally be in the bank right now, refusing somebody a mortgage!"Read