Updated 1:13am 10 February 2012:
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“You know you were saying Christmas TV was awful and couldn’t get any worse....?”Read
“No, I’m sorry, they may look healthier, but I’d rather have a jolly, fat Santa!”Read
“You do realise that if this strike goes ahead mother won’t be flying in to join us for Christmas and New Year?”Read
“It’s a new product we’ve urgently launched for the American market...!”Read
“What do you mean ‘Can I take July off next year’ . . . ?”Read
“There’s always one, isn’t there? He must be non-conformist...!”Read
“There’s nothing in them . . . !”Read
“The ref awarded a penalty for pushing him down the hole – trouble is the penalty spot is at the bottom!”Read
“These new smart meters are great!”Read
“It says it was posted early for Christmas... in 1982!”Read
No, you can’t go to see Jedward – one nasty fright a week is enough for anyone...!Read
“I was going to bring flowers or chocolates but then I thought ‘No, I’ll take him what he really needs’...!”Read
“He’s made a fortune out of the Staffordshire hoard – he sells metal detectors . . . !”Read
“It’s okay, you’re safe with me, i’ve had the anti-swine flu jab...!”Read
“You know you were saying ‘That should keep out the vandals’ . . . !”Read
“Do you have any books on ‘Demolition for Beginners’? We’re thinking of applying for the contract...!”Read
“We’ve had a good look at the figures... are you absolutely sure you want to win the next general election?”Read
“When he’s famous and won the X Factor and played to a 50,000 crowd in Digbeth, we’ll show him the picture and tell him this is where it all began . . . !”Read
“I thought they were unusually keen to form an archaeological group to find more Staffordshire Gold – it’s a new beer . . . !”Read
“Are you sure we’re flying over Lapland? I can see the Birmingham Wheel . . . !”Read
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