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Umemployment figures

“Er...another lot need rescuing, Prime Minister – the unemployed!”Read

Inflation rises to 5.2 per cent

"You're duty-bound to increase my pocket money so that I can help to keep the economy moving by getting on the housing ladder...!"Read

Fears over tobacco grown at allotment

"Typical! Everyone else grows much-needed food and what do you grow? Tobacco...!"Read

£50 billion rescue plan

"I know they said they'd take whatever action was necessary to maintain stability but...!"Read

Bank mergers

"People like to be reassured that we actually have some assets..!"Read

Financial crisis

"One lesson I've learned is...it's sometimes better to be in opposition..!"Read

Conservative Party Conference

"David got the idea from the Swiss guy - he wanted to make an impressive entrance to conference..."Read

French buy British energy

"Bet I know where they intend to dump their nuclear waste...!"Read

Council proposals to sell refreshments at cemeteries

WHITTOCK'S view on proposals by Birmingham City Council to shore up a cash crisis in the cemeteries budget by selling refreshments and flowers at the city's graveyards.Read

Panic in the City as banking system faces meltdown

COLIN Whittock's view on the crisis engulfing the City as the banking system comes under pressure. Read

The fight to save Britain's pubs

THE call to save the British pub is growing as the credit crunch continues to bite.Read

Holiday form XL collapses

COLIN Whittock's view of the collapse of holiday firm XL.Read

Gordon Brown in Birmingham

"Wrong,'mature performer who's struggling for a comeback' - This is the Gordon Brown queue, the new Cliff CD is over there!"Read

Car Sales

"After this summer, I think everyone has bought a boat instead!"Read

Gordon Brown backs Alistair Darling on economy

"Dreadful depression...what dreadful depression..?"Read

NHS operations cancelled

"Sorry about this, there seems to be some dispute as to who has booked the theatre this morning!"Read

Gary Glitter released

COLIN Whittock's view as Gary Glitter was released from a Vietnamese prison.Read

Paul Goodison wins Gold medal

"Stop moaning - pretend you're that Paul Goodison who won a gold medal and race down to the shop for a loaf and a pint of milk..!"Read

Beijing Olympics

"When your foot is better, dad, will you show Jimmy how you did the long jump?"Read

Fury over Ashes tickets prices

"Well, given that we were whitewashed 5-0 in the last series and it might rain all day, I think I'll buy a couple of bottles of champers and watch on TV...!"Read