Health: New garden is memorial for families
LITTLE Tia Williams Fishwick was just four weeks old when she died. Her parents, Michelle Williams and Ricky Fishwick, were devastated at their loss.
And while her memory is still alive and well in the family, from this week they will also have a visible symbol for Tia in a new garden dedicated to children who have died.
The Edward’s Trust Memorial Garden at the National Arboretum at Alrewas aims to be a place where families can have a quiet haven for reflection.
At its heart lies a tree whose copper leaves can be dedicated to children who have died and it will be surrounded by flowers. In the ground the charity’s symbol, a kite, will carry dedications from donors.
One of the couples who know only too well the support available from the Edgbaston-based charity are Tia’s parents, of Norton Canes.
Tia was born in August 2003 with severe heart defects and underwent three major operations in her short life.
The heart problem was detected while Tia was still in the womb and within hours of her being born she underwent her first heart operation at Birmingham Children’s Hospital.
“She had major heart defects and Down’s syndrome, the poor mite,” says Michelle, a 34-year-old youth worker.
“She was born on the Bank Holiday in August and on the Wednesday she had her first operation to open up a narrowing of her aorta and to put a pulmonary band around the lungs.”
Tiny Tia underwent two further operations and suffered cardiac arrest before specialists at the hospital gave the couple the heart-breaking news that she would not pull through.
“We had to make the decision to switch the machine off,” recalls her mum. “Enough is enough and sometimes you need to let go.”
Michelle and Ricky, a 46-year-old postman, were left distraught but received support from Edward’s Trust. At that time the charity operated Edward House at the children’s hospital, which aimed to be a home-from-home for families, and the couple stayed there while Tia underwent her treatment.
“Tia was at the hospital for four weeks and although it was such a short time we did get so much help from Edward’s Trust,” says Michelle. “It was somewhere you could go for help and for support.”
The couple went on to have two other daughters, five-year-old Miya and three-year-old Teagan, but still keep a place in their heart for Tia.
So when they heard about the garden at the National Arboretum they were keen to support the venture.
“Edward’s Trust was set up by the Dent family after the death of their child Edward and that makes it really real and personal,” Michelle says. “They may have only helped us for a few weeks but we have felt a deep connection with them.
“This garden will be so beautiful and it means the children who have passed away will have a legacy.”
And an unexpected fund raising opportunity occurred.
“One of the young men I work with, Liam Fuller who is 16, said he wanted to raise some money for the charity because it meant a lot to me,” says Michelle. “They held a concert at their school, Fair Oak Business and Enterprise College in Rugeley, and raised £300.
“They asked me to talk about the charity and do a raffle and afterwards a man came up to me and offered to match what was raised up to £10,000 but he wanted to remain anonymous. I couldn’t believe it.
“So we were able to give that money to the garden. It is so important to have somewhere for children who have passed away. I know they need to raise £50,000 so this is a real help.
“Edward’s Trust does so much to help families and its counselling service is so valuable. It was six years ago that we lost Tia but we are still struggling with it.”
A struggle fully recognised by Andy and Alison Preston whose son Ben died of cancer at the age of the eight.
Setting up a charity, Brave Ben’s Superstars Fund, the couple have raised tens of thousands of pounds which is being donated to other organisations which support families when their children are poorly or when they die.
As soon as Andy and Alison, a 43-year-old nursery nurse who is currently retraining to become a carer, heard about the garden project they were determined to support it. Their involvement with Edward’s Trust goes back to 2005 when Ben was diagnosed with cancer and underwent a course of treatment at Birmingham Children’s Hospital.
The family, from Newcastle-under-Lyme in Staffordshire were offered a room to stay in Edward House while Ben was receiving radiotherapy.
“Ben had most of his treatment at the North Staffs Hospital but he needed six weeks of intensive radiotherapy in Birmingham,” recalls Andy, a 46-year-old electrical engineer. “His treatment was for 20 minutes at the same time every day so it was easier to stay there.
“Having that place to stay and having people who cared really meant we had an island in the middle of it all. Just something simple like being able to make your own cup of tea makes all the difference.”
In April 2006 Ben’s family were told he was clear of the cancer but tragically he relapsed just two days after Christmas. In March 2007 he died aged just eight-and-a-half.
His family, which also includes 15-year-old daughter Amy, were heart-broken but set up Ben’s charity to say thank you to the many people and organisations who had worked to try to save their son and to support them through the ordeal.
“We called it Brave Ben’s Superstars Fund because we reckoned a tally of 482 people had tried to save Ben and give him a clean bill of health,” says Andy. “They were superstars because they all worked so hard and gave us so much help.”
And the charity, www.benssuperstars.org.uk, was keen to contribute to the Edward’s Trust garden. “We gave £5,000 to the garden as we think it is such a great idea,” says Andy. “Personally we will also purchase a leaf for Ben. The idea that there is somewhere for families to come and have this special place is such a good idea.”
Edward’s Trust no longer has a property at Birmingham Children’s Hospital as Edward House was demolished to make way for another home but the charity continues to offer support to families mainly through its bereavement counselling service.
And Paul knows the value of talking therapies.
“We actually had counselling at a hospice so I know how important it can be,” he says. “I am sure lots of families benefit from it in Birmingham.
“I think Edward’s Trust is doing such an amazing job, helping and supporting families. We hope the garden will not just provide a place for families but will also help raise awareness of the work that Edward’s Trust is doing.”
* For more information on Edward’s Trust and the garden call 0121 456 4838 or visit www.edwardstrust.org.uk
