I’M not sure what this shop was still doing open when I finally found it at 2.30pm.

Perhaps enough children at the nearby Christ the King Catholic Primary School have their eyes on the fries when the last bell of the day rings to make it worth their while.

Inside, the Fish Bar resembles an MFI country kitchen and my server only smiled when I humoured him.

A 75p cone of chips weighed 300g on my in-car scales and, while perfectly edible, were nothing special.