JEREMY Charles Robert Clarkson has given Birmingham’s culinary scene plenty of stick over the years, so I thought I’d check out his own patch to see if too many fags and fumes have affected his hooter and tastebuds.

Sure enough, the chips here were found wanting compared with Brum’s best – and a warmer than Arctic welcome from the all-girl team might have encouraged a fourth star.

A £1.30 cone weighed 450g on my in-car scales, but the scenery en route was more impressive. The chips were brown and dry, with an acquired taste which slowly grew on me. Two of my three children really liked ‘em.